For those of you who don't know him - Jeffree Star is a cross dressing singer from Hollywood California who has created his own fame through myspace.com. www.myspace.com/jeffreestar He has absolutely no talent what-so-ever but has acquired 850,000 friends purely because he's a bit of a weirdo and likes to be controversial. He exists on myspace, youtube and facebook and spends all his time on these sites self promoting all day every day.

On Tuesday, March 10, 2009 he was booked to play at the Marrs bar by an outside promoter who hired the venue off me. The band arrived about 5.30pm in their tour bus and they fed an extension lead through my office window so they could have power on the bus and charge the batteries. We had only sold one ticket from the Marrs Bar but had been informed by their people not to worry as he has a cult following from around the country and that 66 tickets had been sold online through www.seetickets.com

My sound engineer was waiting to get started so I decided to try and find their tour manager to hurry things up, but she was no-where to be found. Finally she came off the tour bus and told me that Jeffrey Star would not perform to so few people as online ticket sales were actually only 39 not the 66 I had been told. I pointed out that he was being very unreasonable and extremely unprofessional and should play for the fans that had made the effort even if there were only 2 of them, and anyway, for a Tuesday night and at £12.50 per ticket it is still a very good amount for pre-sale and there were still people to come on the walk up before the show starts - but she was adamant that Jeffrey would not perform. So I asked the support bands were they still willing to play and as they said they were, I decided to make it free entry and tell the fans to reclaim their money from the online ticket sellers who they bought from.

20 minutes or so later, the bus driver, a real nice guy who I'd previously met when he was touring with Wheatus, came and asked me could we unplug their extension lead so that they could make their way to Cambridge where their gig was tomorrow. I said, "no way, I'm not going to be the one explaining to the fans that the faggoty little twat they've come to see won't play for them. He can stick around to tell them himself. So I refused to open my office and the bus driver just said "fair enough, I've been driving all day and wanted to watch the football tonight anyway," so I took him upstairs to my flat made him a coffee and put the TV on for him.

About this time fans were starting to turn up and queue outside the venue so I waited until there were about 30 of them, then went outside (Jeffree Star was sitting just behind the tinted windows on his bus) and explained very loudly the situation. I said "he's sat on this tour bus and wants to leave, so if you want to shout at him to let him know how you feel please do, but please don't kick the bus or throw things at it as it's not the bus driver's fault." The tour manager came in about 10 minutes later with her henchman and said she was going upstairs to talk to the bus driver and I informed her and her monkey that was my private residence and I will forcibly remove them both if she tried to gain access - and so she then threatened to "call the cops."

She did call the police and reported me for holding them captive...! Not quite a hostage situation but would make an impressive rap sheet all the same! When the police did arrive there was around 50 - 60 kids screaming at the bus calling Jeffree all the faggots, bummers and weirdo's under the sun, so I told the doorman to start letting them in. (it was past our normal opening time anyway as I wanted them to give him a real bad time.) As the crowd were making their way in through the front doors I relayed the whole story to the officer, and I said "don't worry - it'll all become clear in a minute". We waited for the crowd to die down a bit so we could make our way into the venue where I pointed to a poster of Jeffree Star and said "that's him, that is the guy sat on the bus throwing a hissy fit!" to which the officer just smiled and said "ahh, now I see!" I offered to take him to meet the bus driver who was more than happy to be having a rest from the days driving and watch the football but he said there was no need as there was no disturbance here that he could see....

Apparently during the next 2 or 3 hours the tour manager got sacked, 2 members of the support band got off and left the tour and Jeffree's drummer decided to quit the band and fly back home the next day, it was like I'd opened the door and threw in a hand grenade.

Much much later, I unplugged the extension lead threw it out the window and thought, my work here is done...

Marzy